February 08, 2004
Blog response
This is from the Toronto Star. The blog comment:
The Canadians get it
The following is my early contribution to the discussion on the DFA blog--much of it has to do with future strategies. Everybody wants to be part of the decision process.
Julie in MD
I totally agree with your ire against Mc Auliff. However, it might help you and other women to consider that it's quite possible that there is a fundamental difference between men and women in how they approach a goal.
Women, I would suggest, want to get there, to reach the end and achieve their purpose. Men, on the other hand, are more interested in the HOW and that how tends to be in reference to others. Indeed, there are some people who believe that, if the process they follow is a good one, the result will be a good one, automatically.
That's why some of the people on this blog (mostly males, I would guess) are so fixated on going forward as part of a group. They're really uncomfortable with the notion that they should be independent and follow only their conviction.
This is also why they tend to conclude that the other guy is bad because his supporters are not nice.
In other words, they are paying more attention to the social interaction. Being connected is more important than reaching the goal. (Bush is bad because he lied about Iraq. But, would the invasion be better, if he had told the truth. People are angry because they've been left out of the decision process. Not because the action is bad. Perhaps the decision would have been different [better?] if more people were involved. Perhaps not).
Why does this matter? Well, if you understand that a person's primary interest is in being connected and accepted, then to achieve your goals, you have to make sure that's how he feels.
I actually think it's good that men and women have a different perspective. If all people were only fixated on achieving their own interest, there would be no social structure to help them do it.
Independent action and social connection are mutually reinforcing.
Posted by Monica Smith at February 8, 2004 03:49 AM